Ahhhh….Those Menopausal Dreams
Posted by: queen53 on: April 13, 2011
Since I’ve hit menopause my dreams have changed. They used to be dreams about flying or of faraway places. I’ve even dreamed of heaven and the rapture. What do I dream about nowadays? They all seem to have the same context. I’m suddenly transformed back to the 80′s, only not by way of hot-tub. I’m 25 years old which means I’m young, skinny, and looking hotter than ever. The men are drooling over me and I have a sudden surge of energy that I haven’t felt in years. Why is it that when we were hot(I mean really hot) we didn’t even notice? Why is that? Anyone care to share? Why is it that we just don’t know what we have-till it’s gone?
When I was an active body builder and aerobics queen, the word was out about my gluteous maximus. I was told that even the gay men noticed my behind. I thought I would carry my J-Lo behind with me forever-NOT!
I complained about my small breasts. Oh, God, I take it all back. Now that I’ve had babies and they grew, the inevitable also happened. Gravity has a way of keeping you down!
I guess its no surprise that I am transformed into a disco queen in my dreams. Wait-isn’t that the 70′s? We’ll leave that one alone for another day. It’s no wonder I still love Madonna and croon for Steve Perry every time I hear an old Journey tune. It’s no wonder I feel more alive than ever when I hear Pat Benatar or U2.
Oh and the dreams get even better. For I am also having intimate affairs with hot looking men. They are not fat or balding and they have all of their teeth. Okay , let me get straight to the point:we are making out and having hot sex. All of which I haven’t had in quite a while. So now you know that I’m not getting any.
Well, at least I’m not having nightmares right? I could be dreaming I’m 80 years old.
Maybe I have a few good years left on me. So I’m not having hot steamy sex-so what? So I’m not skinny and wrinkle free-so what?
At least I have my dreams-and they are better than any romance novel or chick flick I’ve seen in years. Gotta go-I’m tired and I can’t wait for another night of menopausal dreams!
~Sweet Dreams
Mad Woman
Embracing My Age
Posted by: queen53 on: April 11, 2011
Notice the old lady in the picture? That’s me embracing my age. Think of the word “embrace”. What does it mean? It means to hold tightly or hug warmly according to the dictionary. So does that mean I should hug my age warmly? Okay, I know that the alternative is much worse, but for crying out loud-must I really give my aging body a warm embrace?
Ladies: let’s stop sugar coating this. At least I have the balls to admit that I don’t want to give my age a big fat hug. At least I can admit that I am not thrilled with another wrinkle or another lopsided boob. As far as aging gracefully, it ain’t happening in this house. There is no ballerina here or a middle-aged lady with poise(unless she’s wearing it between her legs). As a matter of fact, the older I get-the more clumsy I become. There is no grace here-nope, none that I can see.
And while others of you choose to hug your age, hats off to you. I’ll be that old lady shaking her fist , wanting to hit someone over the head. As for poise-by the time I am that age I will be well past poise. I will be sporting a medium size Depends!
Mad Woman
Say What?
Posted by: queen53 on: March 28, 2011
Soon I will turn 54. Yes that’s right I said 54. I don’t find it humorous in the least. I am single(by choice), and I am raising a twelve-year-old boy. SAY WHAT? Yes I am in menopause and my beautiful boy has become a prepubescent. You can only imagine what goes on in my home on any given day. Some days are better left not to discuss, while others are mere madness in guise of a mom wearing headphones trying to drown out the noise of a booming X-box 360 and a kid who happily sneers at his aging mother.
Welcome to my world! I’m a middle-aged woman who is suffering from “I wish I could go back to the 80′s” syndrome. I look forward to going to bed because I know what my dreams will be like! I will be skinny in tight jeans and candies dancing in a disco with some hot guy pawing at my body! Then…I wake up screaming! I’m thrown back to reality. No skinny body, my jeans are way too tight because I put on another 15 pounds, and there’s no hot young man within miles!
I have laundry to do, dishes to wash, animals to feed, and a preteen staring me in the face muttering something-not sure because I am still thinking of those strong hands handling my waist. You know the hot and heavy dream.
Okay, life can’t be all that bad right? I live in a beautiful town, and I work from home. My bills are paid and my car runs-at least for today. I am not a whiny ungrateful middle age brat. I guess I just miss those care free days. You now the ones where I didn’t have to answer to anyone but ME. As for now, I need to go- I think I hear my son calling me. “Mom, Mommmmmmmm-where are you mom?”
Good question-where am I? Where did all that time go? Yesterday I was 25 and today I woke up as a cranky, menopausal middle-aged white woman. SAY WHAT???
Off to the races….
signed,
Mad Woman
